What does it mean to forgive someone? Is it possible not to forgive someone? Let's unpack this.

First of all, what is forgiveness? Yes forgiveness is the ability to let go off the anger, resentment, hate, blame, grudge and pain one feels toward the person that hurt them. In some cases forgiveness can be impossible. Forgiveness also gives the person who is hurt to have some kind of freedom from it all. 

If you are in a relationship and your partner cheats on you. You can only forgive them if they come clean. If they confess to having done you wrong and show remorse and promise never to do it again. But if the partner fights you for cheating and even blame you for their behavior, that situation can proof difficult to forgive. The hurter who is defensive of his crime and always finding excuses is not ready to be forgiven. 

A forgiving person needs reassurance. Reassurance that the person who is apologizing will not allow themselves to repeat the offense again. Circumstances which can lead to someone not to be forgiven can be one of the following:

1. Continuous cheating on a partner

2. When one has been raped, repeatedly

3. When a loved one has been killed or maimed

4. When they lie to you endlessly

5. When they lose your trust

On the other hand forgiveness frees you from all the hurt hence giving you a chance to move forward with your life. If you hold on to grudges, hate, pain and resentment, that'll not only depress the other person but you as well. It is not easy but it's necessary for your own sanity. Holding on only makes your life miserable. When you see them it makes you remember the incident and so your resentment grows.

All in all forgiveness is for you and not for them. 

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Florence Kaunda - MindFlo

Florence Kaunda

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